Lost Cause – Hannah Georgas
I went to one of my favourite restaurants the other day, the wait for a table was for about 45 mins the waitress informed. “Lets grab a drink” said my other half. “No, I am committed to the process” I said as I watched him walk away to the next bar, I just wanted to be by myself . I waited outside, alone watching people come and go it as it drizzled lightly. 30 mins later eating my soupy noodles I felt its warmth, food to soothe my soul- it did not fix everything but for that moment everything was OK.
In Life too it seems- I have been waiting for that breakthrough as the days fade in and out, the one that will make everything seem OK, something that will fix this hole inside. I am not going to lie I wish it was as easy as waiting outside the restaurant knowing exactly what to order on the menu. No sir, this is the yearning that has been years in the making ….somehow this hallow shell of a person I have become is not who I was meant to be. I know its rich coming from someone who is sitting in the warmth of her home while the whole world is coming undone. Seems selfish, doesnt it? . I want that cabin in the woods with nothing but my thoughts with silence ringing for miles, paper and pen in my hand pouring everything into the pages and drown into it.
Cleanse myself in misery, only to come out of it as a truer image of who I used to be… full of life, love and joy. To be lost in the wilderness of emotions…to break open those boxes of memories and set fire to them to feel their warmth burn me down to the ground. Let the noises of mind scream loud…… tear open the silence. But all I can do is wait….
Stay commited to the proces……
Missing Soundtrack 