Old Address

And I...
And I..

I wish life did not throw so many googlies at me…..

Missing~ Everything But The Girl

Yeah stalker much?

“I step off the train
I’m walkin’ down your street again
And pass your door
But you don’t live there anymore
It’s years since you’ve been there
And now you’ve disappeared somewhere
Like outer space
You’ve found some better place”

Remember that book……

I stuck my 16year old soul in it…..

Little stamps on each page……..

The scent……

Cut up cards…thousands of little marks on each page….. as if to testify my condition…..

“Could you be dead?
You always were two steps ahead
Of everyone
We’d walk behind while you would run
I look up at your house
And I can almost hear you shout, down to me
Where I always used to be”

The lyrical testimony……which took most of that summer to complete…..

Finally the phone rang….

It caught my breath…….

The book had reached its destination……

I remember the conversation vaguely……..

Bits caught up in my memory……

“Back on the train
I ask why did I come again
Can I confess?
I’ve been hangin’ ’round your old address
And the years have proved
To offer nothin’ since you moved
You’re long gone
But I can’t move on”

But most of all I remember thinking…….all through the conversation….. “This is as real as it gets……”

I won’t forget the trembling voice on the other side of the line…..which made me shiver…..

It was as real as it could get……

Alas……little did I know then …….that…….It was as real as it would ever get……

// // //

Missing Lyrics
Artist(Band):Everything But The Girl

Review The Song (55) Print the Lyrics

I step off the train
I’m walkin’ down your street again
And pass your door
But you don’t live there anymore
It’s years since you’ve been there
And now you’ve disappeared somewhere
Like outer space
You’ve found some better place

Epiphany….

Today is the feast of the 3 kings…….the 3 wise men who found the little child in the manger……..who followed a star…..and found the saviour……

Little flakes...

I have had this picture for a while……I took this one when it last snowed heavily……I stood on the deserted road without a soul in sight….

I struggled with my camera, snow flakes everywhere…..

I bet if some one saw me that day , definitely would have thought I had lost my marbles….

But this is what life is about capturing little moments like these…… like in a scrap-book…….

Rise ~ Gabrielle

It was a month after I moved to a new university, a new town, met new people……… some of the friends I met there were my housemates, and we have been best of friends since………we were the girls……..the kind who were always there for each other for a chat…..for the 3am tea and toast…….we’ve been through a lot of tissues and pizza sessions together…..boy trouble…….coursework……spending days and nights in the library cramming for exams……..we used to have little rituals for everything,  like when some one broke up…….we would watch chick flicks all night…..order pizza…….drink wine……..and let the victim describe the scene of crime…….and the rest, just like detectives….analyze the case……dissect carefully each move and each word uttered by the accused…… then pledge solidarity to the sisterhood…..and pass the mandatory……”You can do soo much better” “You deserve soo much better” “You are worth soo much more” “He never deserved you babe” comments…….

In one such sessions I remember we all took a walk…….one of my friends sang  “Rise” to me…..she asked me never to forget this song…..and I never did…..

“I know that it’s over
But I can’t believe we’re through
They said that time’s a healer
And I’m better without you”

Time does heal……….no matter how impossible it seems at that moment…………the pain does, go away…..

“Caught up in my thinking, yeah
Like a prisoner in my mind
You pose so many questions
But the truth was hard to find”

Week later you still rewind and play the conversation over and over again in your head……..Denial at first…….but you know…..

You forget to smile…….your girlfriends get you out of bed….force to take a shower and suggest you wear something other than your scruffy PJ’s….they stay up with you when you endlessly ramble about “How happy you guys were” or “How you never saw it coming” “How you wish you guys never met”

“Much time has passed between us
Do you still think of me at all?
My world of broken promises
Now you won’t catch me when I fall”

Eventually you throw away all the evidence from the crime,  all the mix tape CD’s, the poetry and the sweater, the chocolate boxes even though you hate chocolates...

You pick up the pieces and you walk on……..stronger and better……..and you smile at your girl friends gratefully ……the angels who came like firefighters……who pulled you out of the black hole……….wondering why they never ever asked you to shut up…….wondering how much time they sacrificed  hearing the reruns……

“Look at my life
Look at my heart
I have seen them fall apart”

You visit the scene of crime once or twice, but soon you forget to visit……..

I guess it is a girl thing………women bond differently……they may  go “0 to bitch in 60 secs”……..but in emergencies concerning the matters of the heart…….they can arrange for tissues……order pizza……find a bottle of wine…….grab  your favorite chick flick…….all in 60 sec’s…….. thats girlfriends for you…….

“Look at my hopes

Look at my dreams

I’m building bridges from these scenes

Now I’m ready to rise again”