Missing Soundtrack

Answers…

The Meaning….

In The Deep ~ Bird York

When I watched the movie Crash it disturbed me…..

I guess I did not know how to react to it…

“Thought you had
all the answers
to rest your heart upon.”

Passive by nature & by choice…

“But something happens,
don’t see it coming, now
you can’t stop yourself.”

30th of March….

I remember last year……the very same day……

I missed my train……

“Now you’re out there swimming..”

I don’t know anymore…..

“Life keeps tumbling your
heart in circles…
Till you…Let go.”

So…

“Till you shed your pride, and you climb to heaven,
And you throw yourself off”

Did I miss something?

“In the silence,
all your secrets, will
raise their worried heads.”

Why try?

“Well, you can pin yourself back together,
to who you thought you were.
Now you’re out there livin’…”

Why?
“Now you’re out there spinning…”

Now am out there swimming………In the deep……

Refuse to shine…

Collide ~ Howie Day

Is it true?

True that I am weak…….

Weak as a child who is lost in the crowd?

“The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You’re barely waking
And I’m tangled up in you, yeah”

As I push my way through the crowd……hoping a hand will hold me any moment now……

“I’m open, you’re closed
Where I follow, you’ll go
I worry I won’t see your face
Light up again”

My little hands stopping strangers………they stop to look at me………..strangers with an expression that I don’t understand………..walk on……

“I’m quiet you know
You make a first impression
I’ve found I’m scared to know
I’m always on your mind”

Voices……I turn around……..

“Don’t stop here
I lost my place
I’m close behind”

“Even the best fall down sometimes

Even the wrong words seem to rhyme

Out of the doubt that fills your mind

You finally find you and I collide”

Old Address

I wish life did not throw so many googlies at me…..

Missing~ Everything But The Girl

Yeah stalker much?

“I step off the train
I’m walkin’ down your street again
And pass your door
But you don’t live there anymore
It’s years since you’ve been there
And now you’ve disappeared somewhere
Like outer space
You’ve found some better place”

Remember that book……

I stuck my 16year old soul in it…..

Little stamps on each page……..

The scent……

Cut up cards…thousands of little marks on each page….. as if to testify my condition…..

“Could you be dead?
You always were two steps ahead
Of everyone
We’d walk behind while you would run
I look up at your house
And I can almost hear you shout, down to me
Where I always used to be”

The lyrical testimony……which took most of that summer to complete…..

Finally the phone rang….

It caught my breath…….

The book had reached its destination……

I remember the conversation vaguely……..

Bits caught up in my memory……

“Back on the train
I ask why did I come again
Can I confess?
I’ve been hangin’ ’round your old address
And the years have proved
To offer nothin’ since you moved
You’re long gone
But I can’t move on”

But most of all I remember thinking…….all through the conversation….. “This is as real as it gets……”

I won’t forget the trembling voice on the other side of the line…..which made me shiver…..

It was as real as it could get……

Alas……little did I know then …….that…….It was as real as it would ever get……

// // //

Missing Lyrics
Artist(Band):Everything But The Girl

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I step off the train
I’m walkin’ down your street again
And pass your door
But you don’t live there anymore
It’s years since you’ve been there
And now you’ve disappeared somewhere
Like outer space
You’ve found some better place

Couple of hours…

Trying to find all the reasons why Dragon Ash blows my mind…..

Thinking of it……I have never spoken about my J & K love affairs……

WHY??

Coz its Personal…..Its mine….all mine…..they are all mine…..not to be shared…..like B&J’s cookie dough…..like a cheap razor, like a pair of beaten ballerina flats, like Led Zeppelin tee, like picture of blue sky,………

Jae, M flo, Jisun, Dragon Ash, R.ad, Bae Chi, not to forget……the unbeatten Toho….

Its love at first sound…..

Takeshi…….

T.O.P., Micky, Hyun with Jae? Myreal life f4 bias

but mostly Jae- the angel God forgot to pick up……the voice that keeps me awake at night…..

Back to Dragon Ash

Here it is from my secret stash of cultural contraband….a glimpse of my parallel universe…..

Way you move ~ M-Flo loves Dragon Ash

“It’s been a couple hours since you left me behind
I’m all alone… the keys you took was probably mine
So I just sit and watch TV. keep myself busy
Trying to get you out of my mind”

You know it in your bones…….

You don’t need reasons…..

“Who was it that sang the old song “Love Bites”
Remember that line? Remembered it last night
See I’ve been kind of blue lately
Thinkin’ just maybe
I should ask one more time…”

Star crossed……impossible……
Its withdrawl……..I need my fix…….

“So come home… come home… come home, today”

I know someday………I will look back and think of this…….

“Asteroid Lover you’re on my mind
A million years and still hard to find
Intergalactically sexy
Way you move gets me
Now’s the time let’s be one!”

Here we go…….into my parallel universe……..

I lose my grip on reality…….I float and there are no lines…..spaces……separating me from the piece of my soul…..

Repeat……

Phase out…

Let me go ~ 3 Doors Down

There is something more than just words to this song…..

The thing about reliving your past is the seeing the stark reality in your present……

“Or one more lie could be the worst“

It’s a replica…..

A pattern…..

Playing the game by its rules….

“I dream ahead to what I hope for”

You find spite….. betrayal and withdrawal….

“And no matter how hard I try”

Losing more than what you were ready to gamble for……

“I can’t escape these things inside”

The truth is more than just a reflection in the mirror…

It is a reality that is staring right back at you……

“This world falls on me”

You try to escape it…..

“In this world there’s real and make-believe
And this seems real to me”

Don’t chase what you cannot see……

“And you love me but you don’t know who I am
I’m torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don’t know who I am

So let me go,….”

You want the truth?

“You can’t handle the truth!” (A Few Good Men,1992)

Unresolved..

Does screaming help?

I wish I could scream…..

I don’t remember ever raising my voice (well technically speaking like the deafening type …..thundering scream)

I want to shout out loud……

Like up against a gust of wind, or a moving train,….top of a sky scrapper…….a mountain top…..or the abyss of the deepest ocean….

I wish I could find it in me to stop this internal chaos…..shut out the white noise….

Like the eternal debate that never did close…..

Some one please for the love of angels “Shut ME Up”

Why is good enough never enough for me?

I don’t wish to set the bar high….

But I do….

Mad~ Ne Yo

“I know sometimes it’s gonna rain”

The battles I fight are the ones I declare against myself…….

Smile anyhow…

The Malady….

Strike 1

Not the sick in the head kind…..

No…

The snotty tissues, throbbing head, confined to the couch kind…..

The Invalid….

Hunter ~ Dido

“If you were a king up there on your throne
would you be wise enough to let me go”

The problems with being ill…..

Your brain stops working (Not like it was fully functional otherwise…..)

“For this queen you think you own
Wants to be a hunter again”

You begin to wonder why ice cream is off limit….(not like you would crave ice cream any other day….just sayin)

“I want to see the world alone again
to take a chance on life again”

You wish your happy place was not just a state of mind……but an actual place….

– Where the tea cups refilled non-stop,

– And the books read themselves out loud…..

“For the crown you’ve placed upon my head feels too heavy now”

Now with a warped wit and an almost non-existent happy place plagued with idle thoughts……

Kleenex over here please….

Kthanxbye!

“so let me go
let me leave”

Fade~~

Numb,

Like a Star ~ Corrine Bailey Rae

A dull thud…..

The slow melody…..

A rush of memory…..

A faint revival……

A beautiful cause……

“Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,”

As I stood across the street…..

A half drunk coffee cup….

“Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands,”

I watched the park……

Benches filled……..

My eyes flitted across…..

The streets abuzz with life…..

As a silent spectator……taking it in……

“Heaven has been away too long,”

I see life……with no faces in it…….

“When everything else is au fait,”

Time, why won’t you let me stop?

The Labyrinth

A Princess ~ Javier Navarrete (Original score Pan’s Labyrinth)

I have a leaking roof……

As worrying as the situation may be……I cannot help but smile………smile at the irony of it all……..

All my life……I have never once stayed at a home with a leaky roof….

No buckets, pot & pans trying to hold the dripping drops…..

Until now…..

Today I guess the heaven’s opened up and smiled at me…..

No lyrics again today……

Favorite soundtrack from a favorite movie…..

There is something soo heartbreaking and beautiful in this song…..

The gentle humming……just like a mother’s lullaby….sad yet soothing……

I have always dreamt of having a japanese coy pond……..complete with a Kakehi (bamboo fountain)……

Nothing like the soothing sound of trickling water…….

To Unwind……..

Zen out………

Oh but wait……Zen garden =/= Leaking roof……

A bit of imagination never did hurt anyone…..

Wondering Maybe…

I shouldnt really be writing this time of the day…

Song in my head….

I was wondering lately why I had given up looking for new music……

I wouldn’t be able to tell you exactly why…..

Unthinkable ~ Alicia Keys feat. Drake

Work of art!

The beat…..her voice…..his backing…..

SICK!

The Hook ….meh it got me hooked……

“I was wondering maybe……”

Ok I will shut up now……

“Why give up before we try
Feel the lows before the highs
Clip our wings before we fly away
I can’t say I came prepared
I’m suspended in the air
Won’t you come be in the sky with me”