Complicated…

Entangled don’t you think?

That is the colour of the sky when it is about to rain…

Kinda like the state of mind right now, don’t you think?

Yes were all bloody emo today and speak to me if you have a problem with that….(That’s what I thought)

For You~ Yim Jae Bum [ 너를 위해 – 임재범]

You know the feeling when your hearts been all ripped out and you feel like the pain is good enough to kill you….

Listening to this song is just as painful……

Why would we want to listen to something like that you ask?

Well because I consider myself one of those sadistic fools who finds pleasure in ripping the skin out of a healing wound…

Because I am lovely like that…..

This man’s voice is raw and aching enough to make me cry…(and that my friend is no bloody exaggeration)

He sings…..“Maybe we are people tangled in a complicated relationship”

Arent we all?…… don’t we all go out and find the worst fit…. that feels right …..but nearly kills us?

“Everyday I am debted to you”…..debts

That darn hope….that same ridiculously foolish hope…..that made us belive in the first place….that darn hope that whispered “It is going to be ok” ………that  same hope that told you the 100ft plunge you were about to take is anything but fatal….

“Debts that are too much for me to pay back”

Am I debted to you because you loved me the most? or am I debted to you because I know that no one else can or ever will?

“Sometimes like a couple”

How strange does that sound? A couple…..

But how right does it feel?

“Sometimes like strangers”

Years go by…..and it feels just like yesterday….

“Can we keep on living like this?”

Yet…..we do….

“Despite countless mistakes and separations”

Yes the countless mistakes…….those countless mistakes…..

“You are still there”

Like an oak tree that stands tall……like an urban legend that has always been heard of……but never seen…..

“I know that you are the only person, who can help me live properly in this world”

Because you right my wrongs and I, yours….

“I, in order to live without regrets should keep you by my side”

Yes I need you close if I don’t want regret in my life…….

“My rough mind and unstable expressions”

But we are like fire and moth,

“And you watching it, That is a love like war”

We will destroy what we build….break what we so painfully fix….

“Because I am dangerous, Because I love you”

Because we destroy…..

Because we destroy everything and everyone around us…..

And because we cannot stop until we have destroyed each other….

“I will leave “

and again today I close shut this story with the familiar tragic end……until next time……

Answers…

The Meaning….

Tumbling
Tumbling...

In The Deep ~ Bird York

When I watched the movie Crash it disturbed me…..

I guess I did not know how to react to it…

“Thought you had
all the answers
to rest your heart upon.

Passive by nature & by choice…

“But something happens,
don’t see it coming, now
you can’t stop yourself.”

30th of March….

I remember last year……the very same day……

I missed my train……

“Now you’re out there swimming..”

I don’t know anymore…..

“Life keeps tumbling your
heart in circles…
Till you…Let go.”

So…

“Till you shed your pride, and you climb to heaven,
And you throw yourself off”

Did I miss something?

“In the silence,
all your secrets, will
raise their worried heads.”

Why try?

“Well, you can pin yourself back together,
to who you thought you were.
Now you’re out there livin’…”

Why?
“Now you’re out there spinning…”

Now am out there swimming………In the deep……