Tag: Broken

Beautiful Disaster

Beautiful Disaster~ Jon McLaughlin

I like living a low profile life…..I am comfortable with being under the radar all the time – everytime….I can see how that can bother people or worse make them uncomfortable…….I don’t blame them…..but I am not looking to change or be changed…..

Nope sorry! No can do…..

Sometimes my head wants to scream out…..”Don’t try and fix me, I am not yours to be fixed”……other times I just cannot be bothered to remind people who never  forget to remind me …..That I am who I am and am not sorry for being this way……Sorry but I have no qualms with being  happy in my very skin….

“She swears that there’s no difference,
Between the lies and compliments.
It’s all the same if everybody leaves her.“

Like that movie in which the girl always dreams about spiral staircases and ends up building one with a pack of cards…..Only I feel like I am on a never- ending spiral staircase and it really does not matter which way I go,  up or down…..It just keeps going on and on……….no one gets it….and trust me it does not help when I am trying with all my might to get people to understand …….I feel like I am fighting for a lost cause here……

“She never stays the same for long,
Assuming that she’ll get it wrong.
Perfect only in her imperfection. “

Am I being too honest?  probably!

Angry? not so much!

Bothered? No not at all!

Rubbed me the wrong way? Oh so so much!

I am NOT and I repeat I am NOT somebody’s consolation prize…….

“Cuz she’s just the way she is, but no ones told her that’s ok”

Misplaced Mistakes….

I just realised its been 4 months since I finished a book…..

That is so unlike me…..

I start a book and let it go half way……

I remember my mum screaming at me all the time for bringing my book to the dinner table…..

We dont know....
I don't believe it's a failing.....

This is not about finding the time…..

I don’t know what this is about….

And I fear to find out exactly what or why?…..

All Time Love ~ Will Young

Anxiety ……

Good or Bad?

“Sometimes you walk by the good ones
‘Cos you’re trying to hard, too hard to see them
And sometimes you don’t find the right lines
‘Cos you’re trying too hard, too hard to hear them”
It’s starvation of this mortal soul……

Like losing your way in a maze…

Facing your internal demons….

I am searching for the faith I fail to find in myself….

Failure frightens the day light out of me….

“Let go”…..I scream…..

“Some days you’re too set in your ways
And you forget to shut up, shut up and listen
And some days you just have to misplace all your mistakes
Somewhere that you won’t miss them
So stop lying that you’re fine”

I fail to see my purpose…..

The Purpose of being….

My internal voice lost in the humdrum of untouched lives….

“I don’t believe that it’s a failing
I don’t believe that it’s a fault
‘Cos if everything were plain sailing
Oh tell me what would there be left to exalt”

Lost just to be found….

Break just to be fixed,,,,,

Breathe just to be alive….

Hold on just to let go…..

” ‘Cause you’re like me
And you won’t give up”

Believe…..

“Till an all time love
‘Cause nothing else is good enough
I want an all time love
To find me…”