Amazing Grace…

Bibo no Aozora~ Ryuichi Sakamoto

Been doing a bit of soul-searching lately…..stopping once in a while …. stepping out of my world…….and what I am looking at is not pretty……My reflections for the day book in the past couple of days talks about the cup of life……and how we got to hold it, lift it and eventually drink from it….. joy, sorrow, pain, laughter, hope, despair, highs and the lows, truth, lies, desires, disappointments, the works……… easier said than done…….I found out that I am not even ready to hold my cup yet…….let alone drink from it……I fail to acknowledge its existence…….The existence of something so profound,  at the core of my very faith and belief……..

The first time I saw Babel I think it unnerved me…..I was not moved by it, it frightened me insted……the truth in it was shocking…..Sakamoto’s piece in the end is heartbreaking and hopeful at the same time….Tokyo in the last scene is breath taking…..cinema at its finest indeed….

They say there is more to life than just this or that ….Honestly I havent got a clue how to go about it……however maybe getting my priorities right could be a hopeful start?

Beautiful Disaster

Beautiful Disaster~ Jon McLaughlin

I like living a low profile life…..I am comfortable with being under the radar all the time – everytime….I can see how that can bother people or worse make them uncomfortable…….I don’t blame them…..but I am not looking to change or be changed…..

Nope sorry! No can do…..

Sometimes my head wants to scream out…..”Don’t try and fix me, I am not yours to be fixed”……other times I just cannot be bothered to remind people who never  forget to remind me …..That I am who I am and am not sorry for being this way……Sorry but I have no qualms with being  happy in my very skin….

“She swears that there’s no difference,
Between the lies and compliments.
It’s all the same if everybody leaves her.

Like that movie in which the girl always dreams about spiral staircases and ends up building one with a pack of cards…..Only I feel like I am on a never- ending spiral staircase and it really does not matter which way I go,  up or down…..It just keeps going on and on……….no one gets it….and trust me it does not help when I am trying with all my might to get people to understand …….I feel like I am fighting for a lost cause here……

“She never stays the same for long,
Assuming that she’ll get it wrong.
Perfect only in her imperfection. “

Am I being too honest?  probably!

Angry? not so much!

Bothered? No not at all!

Rubbed me the wrong way? Oh so so much!

I am NOT and I repeat I am NOT somebody’s consolation prize…….

“Cuz she’s just the way she is, but no ones told her that’s ok”