We’re Undone…

I am not a martyr…

I have never walked the line nor dodged a bullet…..

But today I feel like a tragic flaw…

Not because of my inability to write or communicate…

It is because of my selfish need to destroy whats left of    innocence…

We Belong Together ~ Gavin DeGraw

I know someone who lost his wife to cancer……

Everytime I heard him speak of his late wife…I saw a spark…. A reverence in his eyes….Like she never left him…….and Their’s was a story that generations would come to hear and it would still evoke the same sense of magic and hope as it did for me in this cold twisted world….

“The hammer may strike, be dead on the ground
A nail to my hand, a cross on his crown
We’re done if we’re undone
Finished if we are incomplete
As one we are everything
We are everything we need

Every great story has a “Happy Ending”……what makes them great is not the Happily ever after…..it is the start and the middle bit that most of us in our own lives forget to enjoy….

“What good is a life, with no one to share
The light of the moon, the honor of a swear
We can try to live the way of which you speak”

I have an apology to write……a long one….an apology for my lost innocence,

An apology for the promise I never did keep…

But this darkness does not have all the answers…

“We belong together
Like the open seas and shores
Wedded by the planet force
We’ve both been spoken for”

I am not a martyr…..

I did not dodge any bullets…..

I turned my back on that one true thing I swore I would protect….now what does that make me?

“All this indecision
All this independent strength
Still, we’ve got our hearts on save
We’ve got our hearts on save”

They say “Just because a song is going to end, there is no reason not to love it”

But why do I feel I was the one who destroyed the tape?

“Someday when you’re lonely
Sometime after all this bliss
Somewhere lost in emptiness
I hope you find this gift… “

Comfortable…

Just Hold Me ~Maria Mena

Still care
You would know

There are simple truths in my world which I know like the back of my hand…..

Simple truths…..

No one else can see…

The visions in my head like vivid canvases…

“Comfortable as I am”

Peace found me in turmoil…..

The mystery of me was a riddle solved…..

Alas I play with words….

I wish I did not…..

Fail the words I once named…..

Fail the one memory I held dear….

“I wish it didn’t matter”

Forever is just but a word

The word did turn into eternity……

“But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I’d choose to go
And if I liked rejection
I’d audition”

I broke what was not mine…… but why did I lose what I had not?

“And how come it is so hard?”

I gave what was not mine to keep……..

“And why do I still care?”

“Care”…..the blasted word…..the cursed misery……that inherently became mine….

“Poor little misunderstood baby
No one likes a sad face
But I can’t remember life”

I can’t remember life…….

“I think I did have good days……

I think I did have good days….”

Stranger on the bus…

Ok enough with the political angsts….and anti-human rants already!

Okay…I get it am not a revolutionary writer……well not even a proper writer TBH……..how about that for penance?

Just one question

I was shopping one day with my aunt ……and this song played on the radio…….I wanted this song so bad….

All I knew was the tune…..and could remember just that one line…..that one controversial line……..

What if God was one of us??

And I was hooked….

One of us~ Joan Osborne

“What if God was one of us,
Just a slob like one of us”

What simplicity…….

She blew me away with this song…..

It got me thinking……..  What if he was?

What if he was the stranger we see everyday on the way to work….

“Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home”

I have so many mixed feelings about this song….and to this day I do not know what is she trying to convey?

“He’s trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone”

Why did he strike her as a lonely figure? have we alienated him soo much?

“Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in Rome”

I find it ironical…….

I have to give it to her…..she did have a sense of Humour…….

That is what I love about him too, I guess …..no matter how abstract he is…….he has a sense of humour……..and maybe sometimes we are way to dumb to get his jokes…….

What about that one question you would ask him….if you saw him?

Honestly I don’t know……
What would you ask……

“Hi…. Nice to meet you….Hows the weather up there?”

or

“Oh well hello there…..thought I’d never see you…..(Ever!)..now can we go over last year’s finances please? I think I really deserved that Ferrari…..”

Hmmmmm how about…

“Yo, Wassup Doc…..tell us all about your crib “Heaven”… Is it poppin?”

“Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the Pope maybe in Rome”

I don’t know….I guess…I’d go…

“hmmm…sorry I dint call as often as I should’ve….and am sorry I spent the last 25 years costing you….can I please make it up to you over the next 25?…..”

“Trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone….”