An Army

In the middle of the night

Rescue ~ Lauren Daigle

Bear with me – this might take awhile..

Bear with me – this will only take a moment.

Bear with me – I just need to breathe..

Bear with me – stepping out for air…

Bear with me – this is harder than I thought..

Bear with me – it’s the middle of the night.

Bear with me – I just might have lost my way..

Bear with me – just need a moment to think

Bear with me – but who crossed the line…

Bear with me – this might sound childish.

Bear with me – haven’t got all the answers…

Bear with me – this is too real..

Bear with me- while I ask why?

Bear with me – I don’t see it….

Bear with me – while I find it…

Bear with me – it’s hard for me to say..

Bear with me – while I look the other way..

Bear with me – you might have forgotten..

Bear with me – while I try to remember ..

Bear with me – I am a little weary…

Bear with me – here is what I have to say…

Bear with me – what makes you think I care?

Bones

Excavate ( feat* Saint Claire) – Macklemore

Hang with me awhile, Watson.

I am at the window, staring out. You see that reflection? yes, I see her too.

It is all sort of cloudy up here. Do you know what the difference between the light and dark is? It is where you find yourself, each day.

Like a layer of sadness melting all over you, you take a deep breath and let it fold you in.

Reflect quietly – was it you? Is it you? why is it always you?

Everywhere and anywhere you go- is it you? Are you too much? Are you too little? Stop it..

Rewind- do you remember? Rework those steps. That pattern… is it you?

It is heavy , have you wound yourself too tight? Step in here, rewrite…. focus, heal and let it go.

Open that box, lift it out and gently lay it down.

Wait…..

And you wait…. do you feel lighter?

See that reflection? Yes I see her. She is there.

Standing and looking out of that window….

I see her. She is here. You are here. “I” am here.

Of Your Peace..

Prayer of St. Francis ~ Sarah McLachlan

I read a statement the other day that said ‘Christianity is not for Loners’…. and I was a bit disappointed, it took me awhile to understand the statement…. but I wondered who made that statement….after much thought I arrived to the conclusion that surely it was not made by a man/ woman who has seen or suffered solitude ……

“Lord make me an instrument of your peace”

Surely it was not said by a prisoner who spends his time praying for forgiveness and mercy……

Where there is hatred let me sow love”

Surely those words were not spoken by a single mother who asks for strength and grace everyday….

Where there is injury- pardon”

It could not have been the errant son who repents his erring ways…..

“Where there is doubt- faith”

What about a poor man struggling with a burden of his debts and a family? does he get rejected from following a communal faith?

“Where there is despair-hope”

What is to give hope to a dying man if not for the solace of eternal life?

“Where there is darkness- light”

Not all of us who are lost, are lost because we want to……we are lost because we had no place to go…….but we find sanctuary with the man who is our Shepherd….

“And where there is sadness- joy”

It is reassuring to know that the Shepherd knows his sheep better than the sheep themselves…..

“O divine master grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as to console;”

It was encouraging to hear today…..that he tought us how to pray…..he tought us how to ask….he tought us to call him “Our Father”

“to be understood as to understand;”

Faith however cannot be tought but has to be found….

“To be loved as to love”

He did not create religious jargon, Man did…..his message was simple enough….he said “Love one another as I have loved you”

“For it is in giving that we receive”

Society creates Loners…..Man creates outcasts…..

“it is in pardoning that we are pardoned”

We are what he made us, whether we are flawed to perfection or perfectly flawed …..he never did reject us……

So who is (less than perfect) man to say Christianity is not for loners?

“And it’s in dying that we are born to eternal life.”
Amen.

Silent Reverie..

It is Ghost town…..

I won’t be around for awhile to write…….its what they call “Mental Health Time Off” (The irony right?) only this time it is more than that……

I wish to write, I want to write about all of it……but its just not the right time though…..

It’s just not the time…..

Angel ~ Sarah McLachlan

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight”

Fear is hopeless……

The past week I have walked around feeling surreal….about all that has happened…

For first time in days I actually look into the mirror and feel as fragile as I look……

I wish I did not know it…….

It’s feels as if being permitted to lay down the burden today and say “I am tired”

I have imagined a dozen of scenarios with the worst case being true….

It is hard to be positive in times like these……

“So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees”

I think about people who have had it worse…….

how callous and insignificant my pity party seems in contrast…..

People who deal with all the realness in this world….

People who live to have that fighting chance……

People who make it through the day…….everyday….

How dare I complain?…….

“In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here”

Something you should know about Angel Lyrics

Title: Sarah McLachlan – Angel lyrics

Artist: Sarah McLachlan Lyrics

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Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

Calmed Storms….

It was Christmas , the time to celebrate hope and light…..

Light & Hope

Everything by Lifehouse

I heard everything a long time ago……. and it is one of the most powerful pieces of alternate rock I have come across in my time…..

Call it coincidence…. I discovered today that apparently the song was about Jesus…..

A solemn start……and Jason’s voice gets me every time I hear it…

“Find me here…..and speak to me…….”

We all search for answers….attempting to find the meaning……… looking for a little sign that will liberate us……

“You are the light…..That is leading me….to the place where I find peace…….again”

I have known darkness just like any other person beside me……

I used to think we were his projects…….the one he is trying to fix……..

Times I used to believe he had given up on us…….abandoned us…….because we were beyond repair…..and we had ruined our chances

But you see the truth is I always knew he never gave up…

I did……

I learnt it the hard way…….that his ways were beyond the comprehension of my human mind……

“You are the strenght….that keeps me walking….You are the hope that keeps me trusting….You are my purpose…..You are everything”

If it weren’t for the shreds of hope left in us…..we would never convince ourselves to wake up everyday….

If it weren’t for our hope to see a better day……

If it weren’t for our hope…….

The hope to see light at the end of the tunnel……

“You calm the storms……and you give me rest…….You hold me in your hands…..you wont let me fold……You still my heart and You take my breath away”

How do we find ourselves still standing? How do we go through the toughest of times and come out unscathed?

“And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?”

There is a quote I don’t remember where it is from “God made faith, man made religion”

You maybe a believer or a non-believer……maybe you will meet him or maybe you wont….

Whether you choose to acknowledge or deny……

There is light at the end of the tunnel…..

“Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?