Tag: Peace

House of boxes

A box full of dreams

To Build A Home ~ The Cinematic Orchestra, Patrick Watson

I have felt a lot of things in my life, confidence was my least favourite feeling! I still don’t like it , I don’t feel good about it. Hate feeling confident in the fear that I might one day become overconfident and then people may finally see through me , this scared little fake ass suffering from imposter syndrome. Why not just keep quiet? “Don’t speak up! Why do people need to know what you think? What makes you think they care? Sit down lady and let the man or woman speak! Your idea is mediocre. Stop you are just speaking nonsense now! Why waste time with your thoughts? Move on you ain’t got this! This is way out of your lane! Stay in your lane for Pete sakes. You have nothing nothing to offer….” [now that’s just a small snippet of what goes through my head in a matter of few seconds] Fun-noe?”

I have boxes at the bottom of my bed with little art projects started and not finished. I have little books with little writings in them. Cut outs of interesting patterns! Raging Fires of creativity sloppily tucked away. Out of nowhere come these waves of inspirations where I get swept away , build a castle in the air and crash it with a good dose of reality. “Hush now, quiet! I need to go to work on Monday no time for dreaming. B*tch you got bills to pay, you cannot afford dreams. You are lucky you have a job that pays, be grateful!”

This song is that rush, the crescendo and the calm… just for now let me sit on it! Until next time. I will be seeing you around, kid.

Bones

Excavate ( feat* Saint Claire) – Macklemore

Hang with me awhile, Watson.

I am at the window, staring out. You see that reflection? yes, I see her too.

It is all sort of cloudy up here. Do you know what the difference between the light and dark is? It is where you find yourself, each day.

Like a layer of sadness melting all over you, you take a deep breath and let it fold you in.

Reflect quietly – was it you? Is it you? why is it always you?

Everywhere and anywhere you go- is it you? Are you too much? Are you too little? Stop it..

Rewind- do you remember? Rework those steps. That pattern… is it you?

It is heavy , have you wound yourself too tight? Step in here, rewrite…. focus, heal and let it go.

Open that box, lift it out and gently lay it down.

Wait…..

And you wait…. do you feel lighter?

See that reflection? Yes I see her. She is there.

Standing and looking out of that window….

I see her. She is here. You are here. “I” am here.

Silent Reverie..

It is Ghost town…..

I won’t be around for awhile to write…….its what they call “Mental Health Time Off” (The irony right?) only this time it is more than that……

I wish to write, I want to write about all of it……but its just not the right time though…..

It’s just not the time…..

Angel ~ Sarah McLachlan

“Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight”

Fear is hopeless……

The past week I have walked around feeling surreal….about all that has happened…

For first time in days I actually look into the mirror and feel as fragile as I look……

I wish I did not know it…….

It’s feels as if being permitted to lay down the burden today and say “I am tired”

I have imagined a dozen of scenarios with the worst case being true….

It is hard to be positive in times like these……

“So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees”

I think about people who have had it worse…….

how callous and insignificant my pity party seems in contrast…..

People who deal with all the realness in this world….

People who live to have that fighting chance……

People who make it through the day…….everyday….

How dare I complain?…….

“In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here”

Something you should know about Angel Lyrics

Title: Sarah McLachlan – Angel lyrics

Artist: Sarah McLachlan Lyrics

Visitors: 2540 visitors have hited Angel Lyrics since June 03, 2010.
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Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

All those arrows,

I have a colour picture this time…….

The moment was too pretty to just be black and white…..

I fell in love with the blue sky……

Please don’t go ~ Barcelona

This song is precious perfection….

“All those arrows you threw, you threw them away
You kept falling in love, then one day
When you fell, you fell towards me
When you crashed in the clouds, you found me”

Mystery…

How do you keep your inner secrets?

They call it mysterious because they fail to understand…

The Beyond……

The boundaries of a mortal mind…

“Get these left handed lovers out of your way
They look hopeful but you, you should not stay
If you want me to break down and give you the keys
I can do that but I can’t let you leave”

Hush..

Listen….

You hear it calling….

Imagination reigns a broken mind…..

Locked is this unfounded mistake…

Breaking the realms of reality…

Stay…

Find me those muted words,,,

Run..

Towards the disappearing horizon…

Speak..

As you recall a dream afloat this life…

Memory of it fades….

The Game…..

Shape ~ Sugarbabes Feat Sting

Ok the original is far more beautiful than this……

Sting kills it in his own awesome way…..

Clarity

I can sit through hours just to finish a piece of work…….

But I cannot be alone for a minute with these voices in my head……

I cannot make peace with the tumultuous awakenings…

“I’ve always played it safe nothing’s ever safe
Give me the courage to back my own convictions
Every decision I make I pay it back and more”

I am too tired to wave the white flag…..

Too tired to make that mental space…..

Space within this emotional clutter….

A breathing space…..

“Now turn the cards and let them fall to me
Cos I don’t need to play on with the hand that they have given me
I’ll give it back cos it’s not the way it has to be”

Dreams invaded by unsolved mysteries…..

Like messages in a bottle…..

Reach out and watch them fade……

Like waves crashing close a moment….but disappear the next…..

“And you can easily gamble your life away
Second after second
And day by day
You play the game or you walk away
It’s a new turn on a blue day
And a cool deal of life for me
And it’s all good”

On my knees I pray to find salvation…..

Asleep I pray for peace…..

Awake I pray for uninterrupted sleep….

Clubs are the weapons of war....
Swords of a soldier....

“I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier,
I know that the clubs are weapons of war,
I know that diamonds mean money for this art,
But that’s not the shape of my heart”



Slightest bit confused?

Welcome to the momentary memory loss program…

Stay Away ~ The Honorary Title

What do I NOT like about this song? Nothing….

Far Less Obvious
Far less obvious?

Sometimes it is hard not to let your hidden evil side win…..

“No, I can’t dance less it’s slow or sad
To a song that’s far less obvious
If you’re using me, do it slowly
Make it last until I have to go”

But what you cannot do is destroy everything that stands in front of you while you struggle with the Good and the EVIL!

(PREACH!)

“Stay away from me, stay away from me… now”

Obvious? Me?

(MAD, Much?)

Right! I don’t know much……but I know enough when to cut my losses and move on……(you think?!!)

Just when you think you know everything?

“No, I can’t dance ‘less it’s slow or sad (did you notice?)
To a song that’s far less obvious (did you notice?)
If your using me, do it slowly (did you notice?)
Make it last until I have to go (did you notice that i…?)”

Notice Much?