97th Time

Ready? Not an easy one….total mindf%#K this time!

Don’t say I dint warn you!

Pseudo-Conversations

Blah Blah Blah Blah….

Blah de blah de blah……

Confused? well let me break this down…..

You know the things you really want to say but you always end up saying something utterly ambiguous in contrast to the things you were supposedly thinking?

(Wait…….What?)

I consider myself the forerunner in the art of such non-existent conversations….

(FFS JEN!)

Ok Ok we will go into a song…….meanwhile I will collect my thoughts and figure out how I can write like an (a ahem,!) adult (psh!) and the world can make sense again?

Someday We’ll Know ~ New Radicals

I can see it I am going to run this post to the ground by my incessant…….inarticulate f**kery!

(WTH!- meanwhile can I just interject that this is my next song in the someday series…kthnxbye!)

What I am trying to say is I cannot speak my mind……we all know this is an ongoing problem……yeah yeah I took one of those classes which was going to teach me how to speak my mind…… (Alright…alright mom I wont practise on you!)…..well surprise! It dint work……….well to really break it down I AM CHICKEN BECAUSE I CANNOT TELL PEOPLE WHAT I AM ACTUALLY THINKING!

There! (Phew!….now that was easy!)

“90 miles outside chicago
Can’t stop driving
I don’t know why
So many questions
I need an answer
Two years later, you’re still on my mind”

Random enough?

What was I saying? ah my inability to converse about my deepest (aka I am A FREAK!), innermost (yeah right you freak!) feelings (Ha ha ha…….oh no you were serious?)

Dont belive me?

Hypothetical roleplay

(One such conversations taking place between two random people..people we don’t know! no no we don’t know them

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental….Of course! what did you expect?……this is no freaking auto bio you know!)

“Whatever happened to Emilia Earhart ,Who holds the stars up in the sky?” she asked him

“Is true love just once in a lifetime ?” he asked her back…..

“Did the captain of the Titanic cry” she questioned again

(You feeling me? noo? well lets continue then…..)

He said “Someday we’ll know, If love can move a mountain”

“Someday we’ll know,Why the sky is blue” she replied

“Someday we’ll know,Why I wasn’t meant for you” he whispered…

(Psst…psst……is she dumb? well you know a little bit…..meanwhile you guys see what I mean?…hmm kinda? well you’ll see what I mean when I am through with this….keep rolling….)

******

“Does anybody know the way to Atlantis,Or what the wind says when she cries” she blinked blankly….

“I’m speeding by the place where I met you, (he Paused)…For the 97th time…. tonight” he exclaimed!

*******

(I know what you lot are thinking…….it gets better I tell you….)

********

“Someday we’ll know,Why Samson loved Delilah” he said smiling at her….

Smiling back slowly she said “One day I’ll go
Dancing on the moon “

He stiffened and with the familiar finality in his tone he said “Someday you’ll know
That I was the one for you “

**********

Thoughts in her head “I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren’t you here with me? “

::::Finito::::

SO?

Did you get what I mean?

(NO?…………..MY POINT EXACTLY!)

That enough tomfoolery for today Miss Moses!

PS: Old habits die a thousand deaths indeed! (You Wish!)

The Key..

Key to My Heart ~ Jessica Jarrell

Rarely do I sit up and take notice of the new kids on the block, ones who can sing…..

But when I heard this song in the movie (The Back Plan)…..I honestly searched all around trying to find out who sang it…..I was surprised to find out it was a 15-year-old who sang it…..more than the vocals I think what impressed me most was the emotions she put into it……it sounded as if she was being effortlessly earnest about what she sang,,

“Boy you put me on the spot I don’t know what to say
But I’m trying anyway
Like my hearts gonna drop
My mind drifts away and I can’t control the pains”

Blessed are people who can let themselves fall unconditionally…….because they know not what it feels like to have a constricted heart .

“Words are spinning in my head
Don’t know why I’m holding back
I should just tell you how I’m feeling”

Blessed are people who can say exactly what they think…….because they will never know how it hurts to hold back.

“The more I brush it off
Tell myself it’s nothing at all
Deeper I fall”

Blessed are people who can let go with no strings attached….because they will never know how hard it is to hold on.

“And I imagine everyday
A thousand different ways
How you respond to what I say”

Happy are they who can let their dreams come true………because they will never have to wonder why they never did.

“Am I getting lost in my dreams?
Are you unreachable to me?
Cause these butterflies just won’t go away”

Blessed are they who can relish each moment of the feeling……..because they will never know what it feels like to fear it.

“But I don’t wanna act a fool
Don’t wanna look confused
If I let you know about the way I feel
Don’t know what you gonna do”

But most of all blessed are they who believe in it……..because they will never have to feel cut up for being a non believer.

So I keep it locked inside
And imagine you were mine
And I’m feeling you so close but yet so far
You hold the key to my heart”

Little Bird…

Are You Alright – Lucinda Williams

Three words you want to ask your friend……

“Are you all right?- All of a sudden you went away ”

Three words you want to say to someone you lost….

“Are you all right?- I hope you come back around someday”

Three words you want to ask someone you miss…..

“Are you all right? – I haven’t seen you in a real long time”

Three words to someone you wish you could see…..

“Are you all right?- Could you give me some kind of sign?”

Three words to describe regret…….

“Are you all right?- I looked around me and you were gone”

Three words to let some know you are worried sick….

“Are you all right?- I feel like there must be something wrong

Three words…..

“Are you all right?
Cause it seems like you disappeared”

Your Fears….
“Are you all right?- Cause I’ve been feeling a little scared”

Words you cannot ask…..

Are you sleeping through the night?
Do you have someone to hold you tight?
Do you have someone to hang out with?
Do you have someone to hug & kiss you?

Your burden…..
“Are you all right?- Is there something been bothering you?”

Things you wish you knew….

“Are you all right?- I wish you could give me a little clue”

Words you wish you could hear….

“Are you all right?- Is there something you want to say?”

Words that would put your mind to ease….

“Are you all right?- Just tell me that you are ok”

Your disappointment

“Are you all right?- Cause you took off without a word”

Three words….

“Are you all right?- You flew away like a little bird”

Three words that would make it ok…

“Are you all right?-Is there anything I can do?-Are you all right?”

Sometimes the three words you want to hear……

“Are you all right?
Cause I need to hear from U
Are you all right?”

That Life,

The clouds are heavy today, overshadowing the mood…..giving me a sense of tranquilty……With my easy listening playlist on……the perfect sunday continues…..I look out my kitchen window…..eventhough it seems cold outside I feel okay….the gentle breeze swaying the trees……if only life stayed that way……light and breezy…

Light Years Away~ MoZella

This song reminds me of telephone boxes for some strange reason….when I think about it, it is not all that strange….

“It’s almost like you had it planned
It’s like you smiled and shook my hand and said
“Hey, I’m about to screw you over, big time”
And what was I supposed to do?
I was stuck in between you and a hard place
We won’t talk about the hard place”

I think about all the times I stood inside those stupid telephone boxes crying……never wanting to make that call again……..standing infront of all those payphones dialing away my misery…….whispering quietly “I will wait”…….hoping to recognise the voice on the other end…..

“It’s how you wanted it to be
It’s like you played a joke on me
And I lost a friend
In the end
And I think that I cried for days
But now that seems light years away
And I’m never going back
To who I was“

Strangers waiting behind me ……with that impatient look on their faces, their looks said…”Lady, you are wasting your coins and my time”……. how can they be so heartless? I think to myself……..I try and wipe away the last tear…….and I whisper again quietly “I will wait”……….it is the last coin…….I hate the last coin…….it always has to be the last coin……I drop it in……..the last 30 secs go by…….and before I can blink……the voice on the other line is gone……..

“But I don’t blame you anymore
That’s too much pain to store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I’m not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
It saved my life “

I havent stepped into a telephone box for years now…….I no longer use payphones……..I don’t remember that number my fingers memorised ……no lose change to carry around thinking….just in case………

Meanwhile the sun shines shyly through the blinds on my window……….

“That life seems like light years away
Light years away
And that life seems like light years away
Light years away”

Fools & Kings…

Perfection…..and too much of it……

Nature Boy ~ Nat ‘King’ Cole

I watched the Untamed Heart last night…….where has this movie been all my life?

The soundtrack is beautiful…….

Cole’s voice here is exquisite…..

“There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea”

And I am enchanted…….

And transported to the other world……

Acute emotions…………

“A little shy
And sad of eye
But very wise
Was he”

What did snow white and the sleeping beauty have in common?

“And then one day
A magic day he passed my way
And while we spoke of many things, fools and kings”

I don”t know why I can’t help but think of mowgli……..and the jungle book…..when I hear this song…

“This he said to me
-The greatest thing
You’ll ever learn
Is just to love
And be loved
In return”

Clouds will Rage….

To Mothers who are, will be and were meant to be…..

In My Arms ~ Plumb

To the child in my dreams….

“Your baby blues
So full of wonder
Your curly cues
Your contagious smile
And as I watch
You start to grow up
All I can do is hold you tight”

“I saw you again yesterday…..It seems like we are meant to meet this way…..

I see you……when you think I cannot….

I want you to know ……You were never unspoken of…. far from it…….

I spoke about you all day…..everyday…….

I remember you like a name in the holy book…..

You were my saving grace……

You were our saving grace…….

We never wished you away……

We were the children of that storybook…….

And you our little princess from the fairytale….”

“Story books full of fairy tales
Of kings and queens and the bluest skies
My heart is torn just in knowing
You’ll someday see the truth from lies “

“It is not pain that I feel, but the cold realization,

Of the promise I made….

It is the image of you…..

Your hazel eyes……

Your golden brown hair…..

Your Olive skin…….

See I was a little girl……who loved to dream……

A little girl…….

just like a little girl you would grow up to be…..

But little girls grow up too……”

“Castles they might crumble
Dreams may not come true
But you are never all alone
Because I will always
Always love you “

“I see you……..

I know we see you….

Even though it is no longer ‘us’

We loved you before you came…..

We always loved you as a part of us…..

A part our dream…..

A part of our fairytale……

Precious the name…..

Precious the memory…..

And I pray for the memory…..

You were the Sweetest truth……

You will always be our saving grace…..

You will always be my saving grace…..”

“Clouds will rage
And storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms”

Hypothetical roleplay

“It’s almost like you had it planned It’s like you smiled and shook my hand and said “Hey, I’m about to screw you over, big time” And what was I supposed to do? I was stuck in between you and a hard place We won’t talk about the hard place”

“It’s how you wanted it to be It’s like you played a joke on me And I lost a friend In the end And I think that I cried for days But now that seems light years away And I’m never going back To who I was“

“But I don’t blame you anymore That’s too much pain to store It left me half dead Inside my head And boy, looking back I see I’m not the girl I used to be When I lost my mind It saved my life “

“That life seems like light years away Light years away And that life seems like light years away Light years away”

“There was a boy A very strange enchanted boy They say he wandered very far, very far Over land and sea”

“A little shy And sad of eye But very wise Was he”

“And then one day A magic day he passed my way And while we spoke of many things, fools and kings”

“This he said to me -The greatest thing You’ll ever learn Is just to love And be loved In return”

“Your baby blues So full of wonder Your curly cues Your contagious smile And as I watch You start to grow up All I can do is hold you tight”

“Story books full of fairy tales Of kings and queens and the bluest skies My heart is torn just in knowing You’ll someday see the truth from lies “

“Castles they might crumble Dreams may not come true But you are never all alone Because I will always Always love you “

“Clouds will rage And storms will race in But you will be safe in my arms Rains will pour down Waves will crash all around But you will be safe in my arms”