Author: Missing Soundtrack

Beneath the Flowers…

Lets get out of the Funk shall we?

Daydreamin ~ Lupe Fiasco feat* Jill Scott

Man now why can’t all of hip hop be this cool and nerdy?

Lupe is soo underratted….we are talking about the man who calls Women, Women and not H to da O’s

I don’t care what they say, we won’t have you Dumb it down Mr.Lu

Right….

I know I know, I have diluted the feel of the blog with way too much garbage for the past few days…..(I see a few nods)

But hey cut me some slack…..a girl can’t help how she feels…and when a girl wallows she wallows …..definitely no half assed attempts……

Here’s me wishing for brighter and better days eh?

Well we have a lot of packing left to do (any particular reason why you would want to address yourself as WE instead of I, Miss M?……..Not really……)

I have a good few years worth of stuff (No Dad it is not all Junk!) to fill a couple of cardboard boxes….now how am I going to manage that herculean task?  I don’t know you tell me…..

“But not too loud ’cause the baby’s sleepin
I wonder if it knows what the world is keepin
Up both sleeves while he lay there dreamin
Me and my robot tip-toe ’round creepin”

What? and How? Watson……What? and How?

“And where’s the champagne? We need champagne”

Watch and Learn Miss M, Watch and Learn,,,

“Daydream
I fell asleep beneath the flowers
For a couple of hours
On a beautiful day”

Egg Shells..

So while all the years of wisdom washes down the drain …..any one  care to throw in the obligatory “I told you so’s”?

Coffee and Cigarettes~ Michelle Featherstone

But don’t say I didn’t try…….I put myself out there like I always do, I stood on the frontline…..

” I gave up coffee and cigarettes
I hate to say it hasn’t helped me yet
I thought my problems would just dissipate
And all my pain would be in yesterday”

I am just as bad…..takes me awhile to catch on…..

“I poured my booze all down the kitchen drain
And watched my bad habits get flushed away
I thought that that would keep my head on straight
And all my pain would be in yesterday”

It got me thinking though…..I never was in the right…..

” I thought that if I didn’t go and play
The sadness would get bored and go away
I thought that if I didn’t go astray
That all my pain would be in yesterday”

I asked for too much….I always did….

“I sold my guitar and my piano
I thought that it was these that kept me low
I thought if only I could try and change
That all my pain would be in yesterday”

You were right…..words are just words ….written on paper….. never mean anything….hollow meaningless words……that make a lot of noise….

I guess it’s now my turn to walk on egg shells…..

“But it’s true
I’m still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit, you”

Two Worlds,

There are some songs we will never ever play here…

It is what we call the ‘Branded list’…..

The list strictly off-limits….

They evoke a certain so so….

Not that you are dying to know what’s on the list, Watson..

But moving on….

Never Tear Us Apart~ INXS

Anger Management

Anger, a passionate parasite that follows denial…..

It burns and tears down even the best in the game…..

“I told you
That we could fly
‘Cause we all have wings
But some of us don’t know why”

I can deal with anger, but I cannot deal in anger….

Your thoughts betray you to believe the blurred lines between the wrong and right don’t exist…..

“I was standing
You were there
Two worlds collided”

Controlled anger just as fatal as the one that is outright and exposed…..leaving you as the liability…

Question not my thinking but feel free to burn down my thoughts….

“We all live in a house on fire, no fire department to call; no way out, just the upstairs window to look out of while the fire burns the house down …..with us trapped, locked in it”
– Tennessee Williams

Slow Down..

Baker Lake ~ Sera Cahoone

Beautiful that all I have to say for it…

Makes you want to fall in a daze and float away on a boat  under a starry night…

I have nothing to say today….nothing worthwhile at least..

No journey to take you on…..

No walks down the memory lane….

Silence is forgiving….for once…

” Slow down honey I can’t,
Seen this before and I know what’s about to break you
There’s a light in your eyes that’s burning slow
The look on your face has been that way for days oh I don’t know why.
Everyone’s saying the best is already gone
But I know what we got coming ’round.
The days are alive and filled up with changes
It’s only half of what we got coming ’round”


Turning Inside Out..

I sat at a clinic today and while speaking to an older lady, I asked her if the assessment was a long process as I had to get back to work and she very kindly replied that she has been here before and we could be there for a good hour or two. In turn she asked me if I had a “Heart Machine” ? (I guess that’s what you young folks call it these days huh?) , I sort of gathered she must be speaking about a pace maker, I smiled and said “No, mam I don’t”, I smiled at the irony of the situation……Bless her…..For the reminder of the time I sat there loving the idea of a Heart Machine…….How awesome does that sound? I sat there smiling like a fool, “Oh I would love some heart machine if you please”…….

Why~ Annie Lennox

Yes I would like a heart machine……coz the  human one I got kinda sucks in making efficient decisions…..wouldnt it be lovely to have decisions made for you? Your heart machine could potentially be programmed to make the most logical choices instead of ruining the reputation of you brain by influencing  it otherwise….

“I may be mad
I may be blind
I may be viciously unkind
But I can still read what you’re thinking”

I am soo funny aren’t I? (No wait you aren’t supposed to answer that….The question was rhetorical)

Hmm,

Shucks I just lost my flow of thoughts….(told you I was funny….atleast funny enough to distract myself)

Mental block? (Plunge it! Ha ha ha)

“This is the book I never read
These are the words I never said
This is the path I’ll never tread
These are the dreams I’ll dream instead
This is the joy that’s seldom spread”

Alright the randomness needs to go……

What the hell am I writing? (I don’t know, but who cares?)

Maybe one day I will have a funny story to say…but for now we will have to work with the substitutes of funny….

“This is the fear
This is the dread
These are the contents of my head”

I make the most coldest jokes when I am nervous (kinda like what I am doing right now? Don’t answer that!…oh no go ahead answer that)…the kind that never makes people laugh but never fails to make them go “What the….is she on?”

“And these are the years that we have spent
And this is what they represent
And this is how I feel
Do you know how I feel ?
’cause I don’t think you know how I feel
I don’t think you know what I feel
I don’t think you know what I feel
You don’t know what I feel “

Reciprocity…

Once Bitten Twice Shy?

Where is Lauryn Hill when we need her?

Oh here she is…

Ex-Factor ~ Lauryn Hill

Keeping a secret is hard…especially when the secret is yours..

The contours fade….. words map out my mind…

Honesty is refreshing as long as you don’t get to hear the truth….

Worse if you hear it and you want to act upon it….

There maybe a thousand wrongs…..but one right is what   they are all worth…..

Call the cavalry, cause we need help…..

This disease that has spread….and we seem to brave it out..

There is the first casualty….. “Reasoning”

Here comes the next “Patience”…..

We say goodbye to the sepia toned memories at last…

It sure is a sin to kill a mocking bird…..

But darling this mocking bird don’t sing…

“You let go and I’ll let go too”

Left Unsaid..

I know this is a crappy picture I just wish the light was a better  for me to capture the pretty little Cottage with a Yellow door….

Today I went over all my favorite Rod Stewart, Sting, Air Supply songs to kinda get the right one…..

Simply Red got the vote and the band was not even on the bloody list…

I guess what I am trying to say is….I have moments when I say or do the most irrational things, things that are ludicrous…(doesn’t add to my street cred now does it?)……and this is one of them…..

So Not Over You ~ Simply Red

There are Coincidences and then there are “The Coincidences”

(Care to Explain?)

I don’t think I can…..but I will try

“The emptiness when you were gone kept ringing in my head
Told myself I really had to move along now
Stop regretting all the things I left unsaid,”

Dont quote me on this, but I did not have to go half way around the world to find out….what I always knew….

Like a fingerprint the truth cannot be altered or erased…

“So I tore up your letters
Took your picture off my wall
I deleted your number, it was too hard not to call”

It is in the very fabric of existence……

I play it off by saying “It’s just a phase and will soon fade away” (And God knows I wish this was true)

“Felt a little better, told myself I’d be fine
Got to live for the good times up ahead,”

But you see it always catches up ……

All that resolution crumbles at a  sight or a sound….

Restraint falls to pieces over a stupid love song….

“All my friends try to tell me better find somebody new
Why waste time being lonely when there’s nothing left to lose’“

They said Time is a healer, but they weren’t wounds that needed healing…..

They were memories…..

“Anything to get you out of my mind
I’m a fool if I thought I could forget
And I could not forget”

Before you know it you are washed away by the flowing tide and you let yourself drown….

No signal fires, no safety nets…

For all the cautious tales, and the warnings bells….you left them behind….

When I think about it, rationale is not my problem……

It is easier to forget…..but let me tell you how difficult it is – to not remember….

“Cos everywhere I go
There’s a love song that reminds me of you
And even though I knew I had to be strong
I was still not over you
‘Cos I still believe and I could see how there’s nothing left of you and me
That time is over
‘Cos I’m so not over you”

Of Your Peace..

Prayer of St. Francis ~ Sarah McLachlan

I read a statement the other day that said ‘Christianity is not for Loners’…. and I was a bit disappointed, it took me awhile to understand the statement…. but I wondered who made that statement….after much thought I arrived to the conclusion that surely it was not made by a man/ woman who has seen or suffered solitude ……

“Lord make me an instrument of your peace”

Surely it was not said by a prisoner who spends his time praying for forgiveness and mercy……

“Where there is hatred let me sow love”

Surely those words were not spoken by a single mother who asks for strength and grace everyday….

“Where there is injury- pardon”

It could not have been the errant son who repents his erring ways…..

“Where there is doubt- faith”

What about a poor man struggling with a burden of his debts and a family? does he get rejected from following a communal faith?

“Where there is despair-hope”

What is to give hope to a dying man if not for the solace of eternal life?

“Where there is darkness- light”

Not all of us who are lost, are lost because we want to……we are lost because we had no place to go…….but we find sanctuary with the man who is our Shepherd….

“And where there is sadness- joy”

It is reassuring to know that the Shepherd knows his sheep better than the sheep themselves…..

“O divine master grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as to console;”

It was encouraging to hear today…..that he tought us how to pray…..he tought us how to ask….he tought us to call him “Our Father”

“to be understood as to understand;”

Faith however cannot be tought but has to be found….

“To be loved as to love”

He did not create religious jargon, Man did…..his message was simple enough….he said “Love one another as I have loved you”

“For it is in giving that we receive”

Society creates Loners…..Man creates outcasts…..

“it is in pardoning that we are pardoned”

We are what he made us, whether we are flawed to perfection or perfectly flawed …..he never did reject us……

So who is (less than perfect) man to say Christianity is not for loners?

“And it’s in dying that we are born to eternal life.”
Amen.

Told you once..

Roxanne~ The Police

What a legend of a song, right?

I am always accused for being too honest with others about myself…..

And that I should have a red light that needs to go off every time I utter something outrageous about myself….

“Dont sell yourself short” those are the words I have heard a million times over…

“you don’t care if it’s wrong or if it’s right”

Many a times that red light’s does go off in my head….

Asking me to stop making myself  look ridiculous and scare strangers off…..and I have stopped from making the Oh most obvious mistakes….but why should I?

Are my thoughts to be screened and words less explicit?

Is being opinionated a curse of the post modern woman of my generation?

Does it come with the territory?

Or should I replace the mental make up with a more superficial one?

“I loved you since I knew you
I wouldn’t talk down to you
I have to tell you just how I feel
I won’t share you with another boy
I know my mind is made up
so put away your makeup
told you once I won’t tell you again
it’s a bad way”

Good Morning..

It’s half past 12…. I have a monstrous headache that is killing me…..

I cannot sleep….

The Way I Am ~ Ingrid Michaelson

I might be a whole lot of other things…but I am mostly   conflicted… 99% of the time..

“If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I’d find a match.
Cause I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am”

When I think of time sometimes I feel like I am filling it in a little match box…..

The airy fairy talk….is so far from the truth…..

Loose ends…..or was it unfinished busines..

“If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I’ll make it better.
Cause I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am”

Why are we always on wrong frequencies…. did you say what I thought I heard? or did I hear what you did not say?

I long to fly the white flag….

Tell you I am tired…..

Make peace with me….

Let me tell you all that I want you to someday forget….

Or am I disturbing your peace and sanity while losing mine?

“I’d buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.
Cause I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.”

Sobriety of my thoughts will not cease until they have been let free to damage yours….

Forbid me to…..

Speak to me unkind once more so I will retreat maybe this time forever……

Don’t look through me as you always do……was I so cruel……

Do you spite the memory in spite of their insignificance…..

Why is complexity a mere simplicity when I am with you?