Tag: Hope

Little Bird…

Are You Alright – Lucinda Williams

Three words you want to ask your friend……

“Are you all right?- All of a sudden you went away ”

Three words you want to say to someone you lost….

“Are you all right?- I hope you come back around someday”

Three words you want to ask someone you miss…..

“Are you all right? – I haven’t seen you in a real long time”

Three words to someone you wish you could see…..

“Are you all right?- Could you give me some kind of sign?”

Three words to describe regret…….

“Are you all right?- I looked around me and you were gone”

Three words to let some know you are worried sick….

“Are you all right?- I feel like there must be something wrong

Three words…..

“Are you all right?
Cause it seems like you disappeared”

Your Fears….
“Are you all right?- Cause I’ve been feeling a little scared”

Words you cannot ask…..

Are you sleeping through the night?
Do you have someone to hold you tight?
Do you have someone to hang out with?
Do you have someone to hug & kiss you?

Your burden…..
“Are you all right?-  Is there something been bothering you?”

Things you wish you knew….

“Are you all right?- I wish you could give me a little clue”

Words you wish you could hear….

“Are you all right?- Is there something you want to say?”

Words that would put your mind to ease….

“Are you all right?- Just tell me that you are ok”

Your disappointment

“Are you all right?- Cause you took off without a word”

Three words….

“Are you all right?- You flew away like a little bird”

Three words that would make it ok…

“Are you all right?-Is there anything I can do?-Are you all right?”

Sometimes the three words you want to hear……

“Are you all right?
Cause I need to hear from U
Are you all right?”

An Utopian Citizen..

I should have known,,,…I should have known that I couldn’t stay without writing….

Denial,,,, I know I don’t make sense half the time…..and miss the point the other half…..

Wish You Were Here ~ Kate Voegele

I just realized that no matter where you are at in your life the temptation to stay away from your past or look back on what could have been is too much…….

“Gone away are the golden days
Just a page in my diary
So here I am a utopian citizen
Still convinced
There’s no such thing as idealism”

You need it as much to grow and grow out of it…..

Like breathing…….you don’t have to remind yourself….it just happens naturally…..

You slip in and out of it as if it was your second nature to contemplate on the past…….

It is a f**ked up theory I know…….but its true……

Why are we soo fixated? So stuck in the past that we console ourselves with the thoughts of the future not realizing the future was today!….It was today just like yesterday and just like tomorrow…….it was here…..

“Memories they’re following me like a shadow now
And I’m dreamin’
And I’ve already suffered the fever of disbelief”

The most frustrating part of it all……you spend your last 5-10 years looking back,…..unaware of the time that keeps passing by….which is a worry because sure as hell I don’t want to be here for the next five………

You know all the crap about dreaming……and living the dream……well forget it,…..you might try living life for a change,,,,,

“I was true as the sky is blue
I couldn’t soon say the same for you
So now I find denial in my eyes
I’m mesmerized by the picture that’s in my mind”

Where is the solution? what is the solution?I need to fix this desperately ….

When did life become soo saturated with all this s**t from the past?

I feel the world is closing all its door to me…..because I was too busy opening all these windows to a past……

“Tell me when I’ll finally see your shallow heart
For what it is
‘Cause I don’t want to keep on believin’ in illusions”

Am I  living a double life?……wanting to belive in the a future filled with all the hope and the glory it brings along…… and at the same time butchering all the slightest possibilities of realizing  the truth of this reality ….

Am I the only one who has this all wrong?

“Sometimes I can’t explain
And I’m so sorry that I can’t
I’ll try to concentrate
On your true identity”

As I toss and turn in the darkness……disgusted by my inability to take on life….like taking a bull by its horns (Ah the cliché…)……I have never felt so hopelessly weak and lost……

What have I done?

Will I always chase after the perfect ending?

What am I talking about? there never will be an ending to this story……. there never was a beginning…….

It was all in my head…….I had it all in my head…..oh what have I done?

“I’ve seen your act
And I know all the facts
I’m still in love with who I wish you were

Don’t get me wrong I never once regretted it……

And I know for a fact that I never will….

It aint hard to see
Who you are underneath
I’m still in love with who I wish you were”

I wish you were here…

And I wish I was here………

Living  today……..

Silent Reverie..

It is Ghost town…..

I won’t be around for awhile to write…….its what they call “Mental Health Time Off” (The irony right?) only this time it is more than that……

I wish to write, I want to write about all of it……but its just not the right time though…..

It’s just not the time…..

Angel ~ Sarah McLachlan

“Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight”

Fear is hopeless……

The past week I have walked around feeling surreal….about all that has happened…

For first time in days I actually look into the mirror and feel as fragile as I look……

I wish I did not know it…….

It’s feels as if being permitted to lay down the burden today and say “I am tired”

I have imagined a dozen of scenarios with the worst case being true….

It is hard to be positive in times like these……

“So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees”

I think about people who have had it worse…….

how callous and insignificant my pity party seems in contrast…..

People who deal with all the realness in this world….

People who live to have that fighting chance……

People who make it through the day…….everyday….

How dare I complain?…….

“In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here”

Something you should know about Angel Lyrics

Title: Sarah McLachlan – Angel lyrics

Artist: Sarah McLachlan Lyrics

Visitors: 2540 visitors have hited Angel Lyrics since June 03, 2010.
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Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

Wooden Shoes..

When the Stars go Blue ~ Tyler Hilton & Bethany Joy Lenz

When I went back home this time, I was  looking at all the old family pictures, My mum proudly showed me her wedding album which had undergone a makeover…..

I had forgotten how much I loved those pictures ….. they were all black and white……don’t ask me how? and Why? ….I don’t know why the most important day of my parent’s  life was shot in black and white…(of course being an arid fan of the BW images…..I totally approve)…Rest assured colour photos did exist around the time they got married…..its just one of those things I will never know…..

I took a few shots of these pictures with my camera, I didn’t think it was right to ask my mom if I could take a few away with me….not like she would have refused…..they both looked quite sweet in those pictures……and I could not have been more proud…..

This picture here is a snippet of a shot with both of them in it……though the velvet flower pinned to my dad’s suit was lost by the time the big day was over… I still love his navy blue tie and not to mention the crisp white shirt which happens to be his trademark……nothing I can say or describe would do justice to how my mother looked that day…….in all that grandeur……elegant and classy…are the words I am looking for..lets just say……I approve of my father’s taste in women……

“Dancing where the stars go blue
Dancing where the evening fell
Dancing in my wooden shoes
In a wedding gown”

I never had to travel far, search history books or read fairy tales to find an epic romance……. I just know two people who have lived one for the past 26 years……..

“Dancing out on seventh street
Dancing through the underground
Dancing little marionette
Are you happy now,”

One thing I do know for sure is that they don’t make them like this anymore……

Amazing Grace…

Bibo no Aozora~ Ryuichi Sakamoto

Been doing a bit of soul-searching lately…..stopping once in a while …. stepping out of my world…….and what I am looking at is not pretty……My reflections for the day book in the past couple of days talks about the cup of life……and how we got to hold it, lift it and eventually drink from it….. joy, sorrow, pain, laughter, hope, despair, highs and the lows, truth, lies, desires, disappointments, the works……… easier said than done…….I found out that I am not even ready to hold my cup yet…….let alone drink from it……I fail to acknowledge its existence…….The existence of something so profound,  at the core of my very faith and belief……..

The first time I saw Babel I think it unnerved me…..I was not moved by it, it frightened me insted……the truth in it was shocking…..Sakamoto’s piece in the end is heartbreaking and hopeful at the same time….Tokyo in the last scene is breath taking…..cinema at its finest indeed….

They say there is more to life than just this or that ….Honestly I havent got a clue how to go about it……however maybe getting my priorities right could be a hopeful start?

Mad World…

Mad World~ Gary Jules

I don’t follow the news (******GASPS***** )…Ever!…..Yes, I am not familiar with the current world affairs and I am not ashamed to admit it. It is not that I don’t wish to familiarise myself with subjects such as the world economy, infinite crisis plaguing countries left and right, political power play, technological breakthrough, the sleaze and breeze of the rich and famous I just don’t find the need to. Go ahead and judge me call me an ignorant little blank  but that is the truth.

“All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow”

Why? why would I want to know about the thousands of galleons of oil spluttering  across the mexican gulf coast? why do I want to know Bill Gates is now the 2nd not the 1st wealthiest man in the world? I don’t want to know which way the easterly winds are going to blow tonight and I definitely do not want to know about the japanese restaurant in Hong kong that has dancing robots serving Sabu Sabu.

“And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very
Mad World”

I am a cynic, that is my one and only problem.  It is always the numbers, the millions and the billions, deaths canvassed as mere statistics, countries ranked high and low, nature raped and celebrated, the elderly sucked out of their living souls, children ruined of their innocence, animals either slaughtered or inducted to the ‘to be’, ‘already’ endangered, extinct list, civil wars raging in God forsaken countries or the % of people living below the poverty line, everyday the papers splash out lines that grab readers with alleged  ‘Grave Issues’ and ‘Sordid Affairs’ both in the same tone.  I am a cynic at least I make an excuse to be, justified or not, I choose to be isolated,  unaware of all this circus, and my opinions are my own, like a cross to be carried. End of the day I don’t care about how many thousand galleons of oil is going to leak or has leaked into the gulf  , or how crap their initial estimation of the damn fiasco was. All I want to know is how will someone plug the leak NOT TRY or GUESS but HOW and WHEN, not MAYBE or COULD BE I want to know about the WILL BE. I don’t give a toss about the experts sitting on their high horses suggesting and over analysing for the queen of england, I want to know WHO will? HOW will they? and by WHEN will they?… but hey who am I to ask? I am the bottom dweller who does not read the news remember?


Misplaced Mistakes….

I just realised its been 4 months since I finished a book…..

That is so unlike me…..

I start a book and let it go half way……

I remember my mum screaming at me all the time for bringing my book to the dinner table…..

We dont know....
I don't believe it's a failing.....

This is not about finding the time…..

I don’t know what this is about….

And I fear to find out exactly what or why?…..

All Time Love ~ Will Young

Anxiety ……

Good or Bad?

“Sometimes you walk by the good ones
‘Cos you’re trying to hard, too hard to see them
And sometimes you don’t find the right lines
‘Cos you’re trying too hard, too hard to hear them”
It’s starvation of this mortal soul……

Like losing your way in a maze…

Facing your internal demons….

I am searching for the faith I fail to find in myself….

Failure frightens the day light out of me….

“Let go”…..I scream…..

“Some days you’re too set in your ways
And you forget to shut up, shut up and listen
And some days you just have to misplace all your mistakes
Somewhere that you won’t miss them
So stop lying that you’re fine”

I fail to see my purpose…..

The Purpose of being….

My internal voice lost in the humdrum of untouched lives….

“I don’t believe that it’s a failing
I don’t believe that it’s a fault
‘Cos if everything were plain sailing
Oh tell me what would there be left to exalt”

Lost just to be found….

Break just to be fixed,,,,,

Breathe just to be alive….

Hold on just to let go…..

” ‘Cause you’re like me
And you won’t give up”

Believe…..

“Till an all time love
‘Cause nothing else is good enough
I want an all time love
To find me…”


It’s been…

Fallen ~ Sarah McLachlan

Out of my mind...
Never had..

No words today…

At least not the kind that make sense…..

I Exist…..

Always trying to find ways……to exit…

Always Unsure….

Unduly with woes….

Woman of little faith….

But Little is all I’ve got…..

Little Hope….

Little Grace…

“Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long-awaited answer
To a long and painful fight”

Confined to a mind that takes no prisoners….

Bound by a tale that breaks no hearts….

“We all begin with good intent”

Little Truths…

Little Kinds…..

“But we carry on our back, the burden”

Blame me not for what I haven’t done….

Wound me not for what I have….

Don’t pelt the dog just cause you can….

Don’t pelt the dog just cause you know you can….

“It’s the bitter taste of losing everything
that I’ve held so dear…”

Little Slow…

Little Woe..

“I’ve nowhere left to turn
I’m lost to those I thought were friends”

It is not the yellow brick road that I seek…..nor the Lion, the Straw or the Tin….

Little Care…

Little Tear..

“But it’s one missed step you’ll slip before you know it”

Little Hope….

Little Faith…

Little too many…..

The Woman of little faith…..

Calmed Storms….

It was Christmas , the time to celebrate hope and light…..

Light & Hope

Everything by Lifehouse

I heard everything a long time ago……. and it is one of the most powerful pieces of alternate rock I have come across in my time…..

Call it coincidence…. I discovered today that apparently the song was about Jesus…..

A solemn start……and Jason’s voice gets me every time I hear it…

“Find me here…..and speak to me…….”

We all search for answers….attempting to find the meaning……… looking for a little sign that will liberate us……

“You are the light…..That is leading me….to the place where I find peace…….again”

I have known darkness just like any other person beside me……

I used to think we were his projects…….the one he is trying to fix……..

Times I used to believe he had given up on us…….abandoned us…….because we were beyond repair…..and we had ruined our chances

But you see the truth is I always knew he never gave up…

I did……

I learnt it the hard way…….that his ways were beyond the comprehension of my human mind……

“You are the strenght….that keeps me walking….You are the hope that keeps me trusting….You are my purpose…..You are everything”

If it weren’t for the shreds of hope left in us…..we would never convince ourselves to wake up everyday….

If it weren’t for our hope to see a better day……

If it weren’t for our hope…….

The hope to see light at the end of the tunnel……

“You calm the storms……and you give me rest…….You hold me in your hands…..you wont let me fold……You still my heart and You take my breath away”

How do we find ourselves still standing? How do we go through the toughest of times and come out unscathed?

“And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?”

There is a quote I don’t remember where it is from “God made faith, man made religion”

You maybe a believer or a non-believer……maybe you will meet him or maybe you wont….

Whether you choose to acknowledge or deny……

There is light at the end of the tunnel…..

“Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?“