Tag: Soundtrack

Reciprocity…

Once Bitten Twice Shy?

Where is Lauryn Hill when we need her?

Oh here she is…

Ex-Factor ~ Lauryn Hill

Keeping a secret is hard…especially when the secret is yours..

The contours fade….. words map out my mind…

Honesty is refreshing as long as you don’t get to hear the truth….

Worse if you hear it and you want to act upon it….

There maybe a thousand wrongs…..but one right is what   they are all worth…..

Call the cavalry, cause we need help…..

This disease that has spread….and we seem to brave it out..

There is the first casualty….. “Reasoning”

Here comes the next “Patience”…..

We say goodbye to the sepia toned memories at last…

It sure is a sin to kill a mocking bird…..

But darling this mocking bird don’t sing…

“You let go and I’ll let go too”

Left Unsaid..

I know this is a crappy picture I just wish the light was a better  for me to capture the pretty little Cottage with a Yellow door….

Today I went over all my favorite Rod Stewart, Sting, Air Supply songs to kinda get the right one…..

Simply Red got the vote and the band was not even on the bloody list…

I guess what I am trying to say is….I have moments when I say or do the most irrational things, things that are ludicrous…(doesn’t add to my street cred now does it?)……and this is one of them…..

So Not Over You ~ Simply Red

There are Coincidences and then there are “The Coincidences”

(Care to Explain?)

I don’t think I can…..but I will try

“The emptiness when you were gone kept ringing in my head
Told myself I really had to move along now
Stop regretting all the things I left unsaid,”

Dont quote me on this, but I did not have to go half way around the world to find out….what I always knew….

Like a fingerprint the truth cannot be altered or erased…

“So I tore up your letters
Took your picture off my wall
I deleted your number, it was too hard not to call”

It is in the very fabric of existence……

I play it off by saying “It’s just a phase and will soon fade away” (And God knows I wish this was true)

“Felt a little better, told myself I’d be fine
Got to live for the good times up ahead,”

But you see it always catches up ……

All that resolution crumbles at a  sight or a sound….

Restraint falls to pieces over a stupid love song….

“All my friends try to tell me better find somebody new
Why waste time being lonely when there’s nothing left to lose’“

They said Time is a healer, but they weren’t wounds that needed healing…..

They were memories…..

“Anything to get you out of my mind
I’m a fool if I thought I could forget
And I could not forget”

Before you know it you are washed away by the flowing tide and you let yourself drown….

No signal fires, no safety nets…

For all the cautious tales, and the warnings bells….you left them behind….

When I think about it, rationale is not my problem……

It is easier to forget…..but let me tell you how difficult it is – to not remember….

“Cos everywhere I go
There’s a love song that reminds me of you
And even though I knew I had to be strong
I was still not over you
‘Cos I still believe and I could see how there’s nothing left of you and me
That time is over
‘Cos I’m so not over you”

Of Your Peace..

Prayer of St. Francis ~ Sarah McLachlan

I read a statement the other day that said ‘Christianity is not for Loners’…. and I was a bit disappointed, it took me awhile to understand the statement…. but I wondered who made that statement….after much thought I arrived to the conclusion that surely it was not made by a man/ woman who has seen or suffered solitude ……

“Lord make me an instrument of your peace”

Surely it was not said by a prisoner who spends his time praying for forgiveness and mercy……

“Where there is hatred let me sow love”

Surely those words were not spoken by a single mother who asks for strength and grace everyday….

“Where there is injury- pardon”

It could not have been the errant son who repents his erring ways…..

“Where there is doubt- faith”

What about a poor man struggling with a burden of his debts and a family? does he get rejected from following a communal faith?

“Where there is despair-hope”

What is to give hope to a dying man if not for the solace of eternal life?

“Where there is darkness- light”

Not all of us who are lost, are lost because we want to……we are lost because we had no place to go…….but we find sanctuary with the man who is our Shepherd….

“And where there is sadness- joy”

It is reassuring to know that the Shepherd knows his sheep better than the sheep themselves…..

“O divine master grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as to console;”

It was encouraging to hear today…..that he tought us how to pray…..he tought us how to ask….he tought us to call him “Our Father”

“to be understood as to understand;”

Faith however cannot be tought but has to be found….

“To be loved as to love”

He did not create religious jargon, Man did…..his message was simple enough….he said “Love one another as I have loved you”

“For it is in giving that we receive”

Society creates Loners…..Man creates outcasts…..

“it is in pardoning that we are pardoned”

We are what he made us, whether we are flawed to perfection or perfectly flawed …..he never did reject us……

So who is (less than perfect) man to say Christianity is not for loners?

“And it’s in dying that we are born to eternal life.”
Amen.

Told you once..

Roxanne~ The Police

What a legend of a song, right?

I am always accused for being too honest with others about myself…..

And that I should have a red light that needs to go off every time I utter something outrageous about myself….

“Dont sell yourself short” those are the words I have heard a million times over…

“you don’t care if it’s wrong or if it’s right”

Many a times that red light’s does go off in my head….

Asking me to stop making myself  look ridiculous and scare strangers off…..and I have stopped from making the Oh most obvious mistakes….but why should I?

Are my thoughts to be screened and words less explicit?

Is being opinionated a curse of the post modern woman of my generation?

Does it come with the territory?

Or should I replace the mental make up with a more superficial one?

“I loved you since I knew you
I wouldn’t talk down to you
I have to tell you just how I feel
I won’t share you with another boy
I know my mind is made up
so put away your makeup
told you once I won’t tell you again
it’s a bad way”

Good Morning..

It’s half past 12…. I have a monstrous headache that is killing me…..

I cannot sleep….

The Way I Am ~ Ingrid Michaelson

I might be a whole lot of other things…but I am mostly   conflicted… 99% of the time..

“If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I’d find a match.
Cause I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am”

When I think of time sometimes I feel like I am filling it in a little match box…..

The airy fairy talk….is so far from the truth…..

Loose ends…..or was it unfinished busines..

“If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I’ll make it better.
Cause I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am”

Why are we always on wrong frequencies…. did you say what I thought I heard? or did I hear what you did not say?

I long to fly the white flag….

Tell you I am tired…..

Make peace with me….

Let me tell you all that I want you to someday forget….

Or am I disturbing your peace and sanity while losing mine?

“I’d buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.
Cause I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.”

Sobriety of my thoughts will not cease until they have been let free to damage yours….

Forbid me to…..

Speak to me unkind once more so I will retreat maybe this time forever……

Don’t look through me as you always do……was I so cruel……

Do you spite the memory in spite of their insignificance…..

Why is complexity a mere simplicity when I am with you?

Do without..

I was going to write today why I hate the Lion king and why I have sworn never to watch Bambi ever again….

Seemed like such a childish thing to write about….

Thank you Disney for scarring me for Life….

I don’t think I will ever forgive you for killing Mufasa  or Bambi’s mother……now my hands tremble when I walk by the video store and I see cut outs of the Lion king…..Oh how could you?

Thanks to you I never did complete my Bambi coloring book which was drenched half the time with a certain 5 year old tears….Damn you Disney! Damn you!

The Loneliness ~ Babyface

But The Lion King reminds me of a special detail of my childhood….

It reminds me of a little boy I used to know…

The boy who owned The lion king movie….I used to think he was so much like Simba…..royal and a little sad…..

I remember he went through a phase of eating with his left hand…..He loved the The Adams Family….while I loathed Wednesday….He was always so bright-eyed and ready for school, while I hated waking up at dawn and the fact we had to wear a uniform,,

He was barely 11 while he walked around like he was 20, and I was secretly so proud of him as my friend…..he was always gentle to animals and loved his fishes…. a clown who made Sophie and me laugh all the time….he always spoke to us and treated us if we were Princesses…..

His eyes had a secret….that I thought only I could see…….a secret that he never did tell me…..

I don’t remember how we first met…..but I know we will never forget him….because I know our childhood would have never been the same without him….

“So tell me how you feel
Are you for real ?”

Cold World..

What did they say about crying a river? something about building a bridge and getting over it…..

Well we build and burn bridges so often…. tell me Watson….what do we have left to fight for?

All I see are, crooked smiles and broken lights….

Icebox ~Omarion

“It’s no excuse, no excuse
But I got this icebox where my heart used to be”

Complicated…

Entangled don’t you think?

That is the colour of the sky when it is about to rain…

Kinda like the state of mind right now, don’t you think?

Yes were all bloody emo today and speak to me if you have a problem with that….(That’s what I thought)

For You~ Yim Jae Bum [ 너를 위해 – 임재범]

You know the feeling when your hearts been all ripped out and you feel like the pain is good enough to kill you….

Listening to this song is just as painful……

Why would we want to listen to something like that you ask?

Well because I consider myself one of those sadistic fools who finds pleasure in ripping the skin out of a healing wound…

Because I am lovely like that…..

This man’s voice is raw and aching enough to make me cry…(and that my friend is no bloody exaggeration)

He sings…..“Maybe we are people tangled in a complicated relationship”

Arent we all?…… don’t we all go out and find the worst fit…. that feels right …..but nearly kills us?

“Everyday I am debted to you”…..debts

That darn hope….that same ridiculously foolish hope…..that made us belive in the first place….that darn hope that whispered “It is going to be ok” ………that  same hope that told you the 100ft plunge you were about to take is anything but fatal….

“Debts that are too much for me to pay back”

Am I debted to you because you loved me the most? or am I debted to you because I know that no one else can or ever will?

“Sometimes like a couple”

How strange does that sound? A couple…..

But how right does it feel?

“Sometimes like strangers”

Years go by…..and it feels just like yesterday….

“Can we keep on living like this?”

Yet…..we do….

“Despite countless mistakes and separations”

Yes the countless mistakes…….those countless mistakes…..

“You are still there”

Like an oak tree that stands tall……like an urban legend that has always been heard of……but never seen…..

“I know that you are the only person, who can help me live properly in this world”

Because you right my wrongs and I, yours….

“I, in order to live without regrets should keep you by my side”

Yes I need you close if I don’t want regret in my life…….

“My rough mind and unstable expressions”

But we are like fire and moth,

“And you watching it, That is a love like war”

We will destroy what we build….break what we so painfully fix….

“Because I am dangerous, Because I love you”

Because we destroy…..

Because we destroy everything and everyone around us…..

And because we cannot stop until we have destroyed each other….

“I will leave “

and again today I close shut this story with the familiar tragic end……until next time……

Pretend,

Be Be Your Love~ Rachael Yamagata

This song is intoxicating, if you haven’t heard it yet here is a  tip YouTube it pronto….

“If I could take you away….”

Someone once told me….pick your battles….

Pick the battles that are worth fighting for….

Don’t stress about the whats, whens and the whys….

“Pretend I was queen”

How am I to know?

How will I know when I should give up and when should I go on fighting? ….fighting for what I believe in…

“What would you say
Would you think I’m unreal?”

What if I don’t want to know the truth?

“‘Cause everybody’s got their way I should feel”

What if I am the one who cannot handle the truth….

Worse, what if I have always known the truth…

The only truth…

“Everybody’s talking how I, can’t, can’t be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real”


Soul Vacation..

Alright all this soul baring these  past few days has left me lost for words, again!

Too much serious business….a little change of pace,,,,and a shift in thinking might help….(I doubt it)

Lets talk about opportunities? How about the phrase the world is your oyster?

Drops of Jupiter~ Train

Please forgive me if this turns out into a yet another lengthy talk talk……every word in this song should be spelled out…..like little celebrations….

Out of reach…..or shall we speak of missed steps

“Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there’s a time to change, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey”

You know that habit you are trying to kick off….but you can’t….because you know you would miss it too much…..

I’ll tell you about mine……….

“But tell me, did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the Milky Way
To see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated?”

Putting it right that’s what I called it…..

We will come to that in a bit……

“Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
One without a permanent scar
And then you missed me
While you were looking for yourself out there?”

I could recycle the story and tell you its a new one….

Tell you  have not heard this one before….

Well it is the same old song and dance really,

“Now that she’s back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey
She checks out Mozart while she does Tae-Bo
Reminds me that there’s room to grow, hey“

I wanted to know what it would be like to be spoken to in old terms……

Gazed at….with the same innocence….

Thought of with the same fervor….

“Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
I’m afraid that she might think of me as
Plain ol’ Jane told a story about a man
Who was too afraid to fly so he never did land”

Are we all each others demons and angels? is peeking into the future the only way of undoing your past…


“Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you
Even when I know you’re wrong?”

Ah the idealistic points of view…..the humbling of a realist,….the break points and the break evens….

“Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance
Five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had, and me?”

A complete circle….

“But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance
To dance along the light of day
And head back toward the Milky Way?”

“But tell me, did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the Milky Way
To see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated?”

“And tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
One without a permanent scar
And then you missed me
While you were looking for yourself?”

“And did you finally get the chance
To dance along the light of day?
And did you fall for a shooting star?
Fall for a shooting star?
And now you’re lonely looking for yourself out there”

Life’s complete circle….